Women of color stand at a crossroads between race and gender. Neither racism nor sexism alone can explain the marginalization that they face, but political movements often mobilize behind race or gender, but rarely both. Even within their own communities sometimes, their experiences with sexism are denied by men of color, the same people who’d rally behind them on issues of race. They exist within a unique and paralyzing space that forces them to claim a primary identity to move forward in their advocacy, in the act denying another key component of who they are. And this is just with two layers to the scenario. If you add all the “isms”, it becomes even more complicated.
When I came to the crossroads, I chose my path very quickly. After learning about the racism of the white women-led birth control movement and with Anti-AAPI hate on the rise, it seemed only sensical to walk the road of race. Instead of applying to women’s advocacy internships, I actively sought out opportunities to engage in discussions of race with other AAPI individuals. It was this choice that led me to CAUSE. Surprisingly enough, it was CAUSE that also made me rethink my decision.
In our two days at the capitol, I met more leaders who were both AAPI and women than I had in my two years at USC. While they advocated for the AAPI community, they were also acutely aware of what it meant to be a woman within that space. Stephanie Tom, the Chief Consultant for the Asian American and Pacific Islander Legislative Caucus (AAPILC) spoke to us about building the leadership pipeline for the next generation of AAPI leaders. For her, that also meant increasing representation of AAPI women in places like the AAPILC, which comprises an all-male body at the moment.
Tom acknowledged the intricacies that come with motherhood in one’s professional life. Something that I, and many of my other interns, have questioned is what motherhood would mean for our career development as AAPI women. Since AAPI women are already stereotyped as passive and invisible, things that directly contradict the Western conception of leadership, becoming a mother may even serve to further isolate ourselves from leadership opportunities and contribute to stereotypes about our subservient natures. When we asked her how she balanced her career and role as a mother, she admitted that she personally had struggled with balancing the two. While her talk did not leave me with concrete answers of how to navigate my interpersonal and professional trajectory, it did leave me and my fellow interns with much to think about.
During our visit, we also got to hear from a panel made up of California State Assembly Fellows and Legislative Directors. Amy Ho, a current fellow, talked to us about how she navigated imposter syndrome as an AAPI person in predominantly white institutions. She told us: “If you don’t look like the other people in the room, that doesn't mean you don’t deserve to be there. If anything, it means you deserve to be there more.” Growing up in Hawai’i, I’ve been lucky enough to be surrounded by representation for most of my life, so Ho’s advice on navigating spaces that are not built for you is definitely something I will take with me as I begin to explore places that are less and less representative of the AAPI community.
My experience in Sacramento undoubtedly changed the way I navigate leadership in a Western culture that imposes stereotypes of passivity and obedience on AAPI women. After witnessing multiple styles of leadership and hearing from people who I felt truly represented me, I see my identity as less of a crossroads and more of a journey.