My first official week at my host internship office was insightful as I am placed at my congressional representative’s district office. While I was able to start earlier on June 1, I was still given different opportunities to engage with my own community. Since I have had practice managing the phones, I was responsible for picking up all calls (preferably on the first ring). When I was first trained on how to answer a call, I was honestly nervous. It wasn’t because I was holding a conversation with a stranger, but because I was afraid I wouldn’t know how to respond to the question or worse, give them false information. While I held myself to a high standard, my supervisor and the rest of the district office staff were extremely understanding and willing to answer all my questions, even when I felt like I was pestering them with so many. Because I often pressure myself to get things right on the first try, I’m slowly learning to become more comfortable with being a novice and not knowing how to do something but be sure to ask for help. In one of Friday’s workshops, I remember CAUSE Executive Director Nancy Yap discussing how “you don’t have to struggle and make it on your own; to succeed means to use the community you have built to help you along”. This honestly resonated with me as I frequently feel a personal, social, and cultural pressure to maximize my future and become successful.
While I have always known myself to be self-critical of my performance, throughout high school and in college, I began to take particular notice of how factors such as my gender and my ethnic background also played a part in the idea of having to struggle alone instead of asking for help. I feel that because I identify as a woman, there is a smaller margin for mistakes; and as an Asian woman, there’s even less so. Moving forward, I want to remind myself to accept that I will make mistakes and rather than seeing that as failure, I want to reframe that as an opportunity for self-growth. I also recognize that I am only an intern when it comes to this specific internship. My supervisor, Zayn Aga, told me how everyone in the office has been there for around 10 years if not longer. They know I am new and that I am putting in my best effort to learn about the work environment and responsibilities. I now realize how ridiculous the standard I put myself to when I acknowledge my role in the broader context of my internship office as well as life in general. I aim to continue asking questions and assume a brave attitude when I am tasked or independently choose to do things that seem daunting. It is in those daunting responsibilities in which I am able to grow the most, both personally and professionally.
