When I was a little girl, I knew how to dream. I’d pause a game with my friends to pet every dog I came across in my little apartment-complex neighborhood and dream about being a veterinarian. I’d watch space documentaries on Discovery Channel and dream about being an astrophysicist. I’d create stories in my head about places I wanted to go, things I wanted to do, people I wanted to be, and dream about being a famous author, about writing books that made people happy, that made me happy.
I remember that little girl and all of her dreams. She wanted to be a singer. She wanted to be a doctor. She wanted to be an actress, a psychiatrist, President of the United States.
But then she aged. She got older. Her edges started to fray. And all of her dreams frayed with her.
In middle school, I remember I didn’t want to be anything anymore. I didn’t think I was good enough to be anything. I wasn’t smart enough to be an astrophysicist. I wasn’t talented enough to be a singer. I wasn’t brave enough to be an author. I wasn’t born in the United States so I didn’t even meet the most basic of qualifications to ever hope of being President. Everything about me was wrong or insufficient and I didn’t know what to do with myself.
But in the past two months here at CLA, my perspective started to change. About life, about people, about how the world works, but most especially about myself.
On Monday, 8/7, we hosted a Mock Fundraiser in the second-floor lounge of the CAUSE office. As the candidate, I spent most of my time flitting around the room and personally greeting every guest. I shook their hands, answered their questions, and asked them (multiple times) to donate to my campaign. Then, towards the end of the event, I gave a speech. I stood before a crowd of people, much older, wiser, more experienced, and more accomplished than me, and articulated my life story, my personal experiences, for all of them to hear, to evaluate, to weigh for power and truth and sincerity. Before CLA, I didn’t even believe I had a story to share, or, at least, not one worth listening to. But at that moment, I knew that I did. I knew that I was speaking from the bottom of my heart and that my words were reaching people. I knew that my story was powerful because I made it powerful, with my presence, my conviction, my passion, and my love.
I’ve never felt as much ownership over myself and my story as when I gave that speech. Even afterward, when my “constituents” asked me challenging questions about my policy platform, I tried my best to be confident and genuine with my answers. I finished the question-answer portion of the event feeling good and proud of myself.
The part of the fundraiser that was most meaningful to me, however, was at the very end. We’d just thanked everyone for coming, reminded them (for the 37th time) to donate, and started to disperse so that we could begin the process of cleaning up the room when Charlie Woo approached me. He briefly shook my hand and then asked me “Are you thinking of actually running for office?” I blinked at him and gave him a half-embarrassed, half-confused smile. I told him that I might, that participating in the Mock Campaign as the candidate had really transformed my perspective of myself and what I believed was possible for me. He looked me in the eye and told me that if I ever decided to run for real, he’d help me.
CLA Intern/Candidate Meghna Nair greets Charlie Woo, founder of CAUSE, at the Mock Fundraiser event.
I was stunned. For a few seconds, I didn’t even process what he’d said. I thought back to where I’d started, where I’d been before I began this journey, and how I never imagined I could be involved in government. So to have Charlie say that to me, to have this person who has been involved in politics for so long, who’s witnessed and helped so many different candidates with so much more experience, express his belief in me meant more than anything.
Sometimes, I think about that little girl with the big dreams. I wonder if she’d be proud of me. I wonder if she’d be happy with who we are now. I wonder if she’s still dreaming.
I think she is.
The views and opinions expressed in this publication are those of the author and do not reflect the views or positions of CAUSE or the CAUSE network.
Written by Meghna Nair, Leadership Academy 2023 Intern.
The CAUSE Leadership Academy (CLA) for students is a nine-week, paid, internship program that prepares college undergraduates to lead and advocate for the Asian Pacific Islander community on their campuses and beyond.